Plan B
by Canada Ginger ALE
Summary: You know, after getting chased by the fuzz, running into some seriously crazy dudes, burning the house down, and everything els that has happed in the past week, Im starting to think Ino-pig was right. I should have had a plan B.
1. Prolouge (Is a really Funny Word)

**READ: Ok yeah I edited some things. I uploaded the wrong thing(that was tottal crap) cause I didnt have my glasses on and didnt realize until No, so give me a second shot will ya?**

Thoughts  
**INNER**  
"Talking"

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This Is how the Story of me and my bestfriend begins, or possibly ends, depending if the catch us or not**.**

"Ok , then whats plan B?"  
"Plan B? What plan B? I didn't think of a plan B. That would mean I have a lack of confidence in plan A! "  
"That would be great, if your oh so amazing plan A wasnt run away!"

Now I know thats a terible way to start somthing but I cant have a flashback and run at the same time. I nevre was a multi-tasker, thats Ino-pigs Job. Holy crap there getting closer! **Time to good bye to this crule world, or Blondie, whichever comes first.**

"Yamanaka"  
"Yes Haruno?"  
"I just want you to know how happy I am your my Friend"  
"I am too, now run faster you scrawny whore"

If we don't get caught and thrown In jail, I might just tell why the police are after us in the first place. So Until next Time.**Adios Amigos!**

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**Rate and Review, or not, its your choice . Disclaimer and stuff no one cares about. **


	2. Escaped and then got lost

Now I will Admit, we shouldnt have been at school in the first place, it being after hours and all, but Ino didn't have to be so paranoid. Oh by the way Ino is my very best friend since like the 5th grade. She has your usual Blond hair blue eyes set up, but she really rocks the look, to top it off though is her personality. She can't really be described as good, but she's not all that bad ether, I mean she thinks not doing your homework is a sin, but will still flip out on a bitch that causes her too much trouble.

Enough talking about that slut, let's get back to business. You see the only reason we were even there was because a stupid teacher took my Notebook, and I really wanted it back. Now you might be thinking "Sakura why even wast your time retrieving some dumb pad of paper", well the answer is simple, if they happen to look inside I would be shipped of to an Asylum faster that you can say That crazy Bitch. That's right, the neon orange, ramen themed monstrosity has everything from my apparently disturbing sketches, pranks that I Have or will pull, and what might be most important...how to make the perfect bowl of cereal. So yeah,that's why its important. Anyway we were almost to that two-ton teachers room when miss "I suck at B&E's" Triggers some kind of Alarm. After that I quickly got my book, Ino, then ran the hell away. Then we live happy ever after right? Wrong. By the time we got across the street two police cruisers were on the scene and had no qualms about chasing after innocent beautiful little girls. This is kinda where the goodbyes started. Yeah, not exactly the most epic way to get noticed by the police, I know. After about 15 minuets of running like crazy people, me and Ino lost 'em.. Problem is that we were in a graveyard and let me tell you that mother fucker is HUGE. So now im lost in a creepy cemetary with a girl who does not do well under panic.

"WERE GONNA DIE OUT HERE!"  
"Calm down pig, I'll have you home, and alive, before dawn so the old man doesn't find out, oK?  
"Really?"  
Really, now shut up so I can think of a way to get us out of here"  
"O-ok_"_

I was all fine and dandy coming up with and escape plan(one involving the cops not finding us), until I heard some weird hiss/growl coming from behind a tree to my left. I think Ino did to, unless she just found out she had Herpes, Cause she let out a scream that im pretty sure broke my eardrums.  
I have to go shut up the pig before she gets us caught.

_Gute _**Nacht**everyone, sleep well.

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**Disclaimer. Sorry its like super short but I have no more creativity tonight.**


	3. Caught With a Cat

_We got out of the grave yard! The exit was only 10ft away..man,I have__ no __sence of direction. Oh, by the way the hiss/growl combo coming from the bushes was a cat. A cute black one actually, but that pig said no. Actually she said something like 'Hell no you animal crazy bitch, there is no way I am getting cat hair on my pretty white purse. Black cats are bad luck anyway,and they-'. But I like my version better, don't you? And that brings us to our current activity, the only way to properly settle a disagreement such as this one..._

"Please"  
"No"  
"Pretty please"  
"NO"  
"Dammit you whore"  
"Who are you calling a whore you Fugly bitch"  
"You, ya dumb blond"  
"You did not just go there"  
"Bitch Yes the fuck I did"  
"You wanna go!"

"Sakura?"  
"I forgot what we were fighting about"  
"Me too"  
"Hey look a cat! Can we keep it?"  
"Fine, but your carrying it."  
"YES! HAHAHAHAAA"

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_Walking to Ino's house is fun but its even better with Ikati, that's Zulu for cat. A crazy ass rottweiler attack him and he totally kicked that dog's ass! The only bad thing that happened is it started raining about a block away from Ino's. By the time we got there we were soaking wet and freezing to death. What happened to me im going to blame on the rain, because Rain sucks. Scratch that , Ino's dad sucks. Just cause the bastard is feels the need to put up a freaking top-notch security system,Of course it's not as good as that girl Hinata's, but still, its fucking hard to get past. Especially with an extremely pissed off cat, that does not want to be quiet. Normally I don't get caught, but Friends, today will be known as the day that I Sakura Haruno, was caught trespassing on a very rich mans property. One who hates me with every fiber of his being._

**_De Ballen._**

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**_Sorry for all the seriously short chapters, but there will be a bunch of them to make up for it! _**


	4. YOUTHFUL Liar

Sitting in the police station sucks. Gai, the police chief and Part Time gym teacher, is here too give me a speech about 'Changing my criminal ways', while his mini clone lee stares at me with those weird eyes. He creeps me out...seriously. I've been sitting here for two hours because they cant figure out who to contact since I have no 'known' guardian. I hope they don't stick me in a Home again, I hate being there worse than being here. Man, I miss Ino-Pig, I wonder how she's holding up against Daddy Dearest? He probably grounded her 'till she graduates high school and moves to the other side of the world for collage. I hate thinking about that. **Hey Dumbass! **What do you want?** Spandex sounds like he's almost done**

"-And that is why a youthful maiden like your self should reconsider your life choices."  
"Thank you Gai-Sensei, I finally see the error of my un-Youthful ways!" **HAHAH LIAR **Shut up.  
"W-What, has my guidance finally worked!"  
"Its sure has , I only wish that I could go share this amazing youth you have shown to me". **There is no way this is going to work.  
**'GASP' Your right! What kind of person keeps people from showing there great youthfulness, Lee, go get the release papers so we can get this young lady outta here!"**...No Fucking Way. **HA what now you negative bitch.

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** FREEDOM AT LAST!** We were only in there for 2&1/2 hours. **And we would have been longer if you weren't such a good liar. **I am amazing. **Whatever helps you sleep at night. **That reminds me, what time is it?** I don't know, there's a clock to the left. **Where?** Your other left stupid **Oops, there it is...HOLY SHIT IM GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!** Not my problem, Peace bitch. **Traitor!

Looks like I'll be walking home in silence, Which I guess is a good thing because without Ino I talk to myself way too much. No matter, It beats being alone. "I'm Home!" Oh look nobody's here, what a surprise. I guess I'll take a shower since I got home faster that I thought, then off to school I go. Yippee...

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Sorry its short, AGAIN. Man Ima terrible writer. But I Promise the chapters will get longer and updated quicker.


	5. Dinner plans in Detention (Part One)

You know those days where you just want to light somebody's face on fire and try putting it out with a fork? Today is one of those days. The first half of my day was great, Ami was being oddly quiet, probably busy giving a total stranger a BJ, and surprisingly Ino arrived in one piece. I couldn't wait till we got to talk, I was curious about what tightwad would do to protect his precious baby from a 'Dangerous criminal 'like me this time. I got my answer when a teacher freaking got Detention for talking to Ino. This mean looking chick, probably in her late 20's, said I was being disruptive to the other students learning environment. The only thing wrong with that is we were at LUNCH, That's when your supposed to talk to your friends right?. After that I found out all the teachers moved me to the front seat, right next to their desk's of course, so passing notes to her was out of the question. And now im here in room oo1, to sit for the next three hours while Ino prepares for this huge dinner party at 5. Its 3:3o now, so by the time I get out and get to his house to snatch the darling daughter, his dinner party would be over so there is no way I could ruin it. That son of a bitch is getting smarter. Don't worry I'll think of something, and when I do, hell be sorry he ever underestimated Haruno Sakura. But first I have to detach the kid with the orange mask from my leg.

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**My new Laptop is dying, this is all I could get in. But since this chapter is way too short, as soon as its charged I'll write a super long one Kay? Thank you so much for reading, Ciao**


	6. Dinner Plans in Detention (Part Two)

I Fixed ALOT of things, so if you re-read this chapter, it will probably make more sense

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_Sometimes there is nothing left to say except Dafqu Just Happened?_ I got the masked kid offa me, but then he started yelling about how some Deidara guy would like me. Then he just ran straight out of D.T, right past the teacher and everything, saying he was going to go get him. Honestly I'm kinda scared. I mean can you imagine who he's gonna come back with? Probably some crazy hobo or something. Dammit I'm lonely, Sigh, I miss inner, I wish she would come back. **DO you mean it?!** Inner! **Sakura!** Inner! **Sakura!**...Dude** Lol what? **We just totally had a Lee/Gai moment **EW, so what did I miss?** Hmm, a bitch threw us in detention, you know that kid with the orange mask? **Tobi, What about him?** Well after he let go of my leg he ran out of detention to find an Axe murder named Deidra. **Deidra? Are you sure it wasn't Deidara?** Oh yeah that was his name!...**HAHAHAHAHAHA You're Screwed **What why? **Deidera isn't an axe murderer,** Really!, **Yeah he's a terrorist!** You mean he could freaking blow me up! **Yeah, is it that hard to comprehend?** Wait, how do you know all this stuff and I don't? **You do know this, you just cant remember you do, that's what I'm for.** That's cool. **Yeah, why do you think you ace all those tests?** Point. **Now shut up and tell me what you did to get Detention.** Oh yeah, Ino's dad had me put in detention because he is throwing this big dinner party and he doesn't want me to crash it and take her.** That son of a Bitch!** Right! that's why we gotta come up with a plan on how to escape and get our revenge on that bastard.** Ok, what do you got so far**. How about we hire an assassin? **What the hell are we going to pay him with?** Uhm, All right! New plan. We need three rolls of duct tape, a rubber chicken, two pineapples, and six small men dressed in leprechaun costumes!. **No.** Well I got , oh! what's with that creepy smile on you face inner? **Sakura Sweetie?** Yes my darling Inner? **What do you need to have a Dinner Party?** Alcohol? **Well yes, but what else?** FOOD! **Right, and if there is no food there is no party and no need for Ino to be there.** I Love you so much now. **Everyone does Bitch, no our only problems are how to get rid of the food and most importantly, how do we get out?** OH I know the answers to the food problem!

Cherry-Chan! Tobi brought Sempai like Tobi said he would!

**And I just found out the solution to our freedom.**

"Dammit Tobi, you brought me all the way here to see some girl, yeah?" **That has to be the most beautiful man I have ever seen**. That's a man? **Yeah just take a look.** Well, he has longish honey blond hair, in a half up half down hair style, and pretty ocean blue eyes, slim build, high cheek bones, I think the only distinction between a man and a woman on this guy is his deep voice and muscle undertone. **Now that I think about it Tobi is kinda hot too**. Really? All you can see is his spiky black hair and one red/brown eye. **I bet he is beautiful under there, the selfish mofo just wont share it with word** That's what you said about Kakashi-Sensei. **Hey** What **Pay attention I think he's saying something**

"-So ugly I would have never came." *Blink*

**Did that motherfucker just call us ugly?!** Maybe he was talking about the paint color

"Cat got your Tongue? Or are you dumb _and_ ugly?"

**Oh Hell NO Blondie say what! The Tranny is goin DOWN**

"Die Bitch!"

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So yeah, this is the other half, slightly longer, but not really Im working on that though so don't Give up!


	7. Amazing Skill of Mine

_Did you really have to punch him?_ **Blond Bitch Got what he deserved!** Y_ea, but the teacher was pissed, and I bet he was too._ **Well we would know if you didn't panic and jump out of the damn widow**. I_ had to jump out of a 3 story building to save our ass from the result of your anger issues_. **Point...Hey! Its 4 o'clock!** _Yea, so?_ **His party is starting! Get your board bitch, we gotta ride!**

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_Almost there!_** Look, he had the food Delivered**. _Perfect, now shut up and watch._ **?** "Excuse me Mr-!" **Dafqu are you Doing?**_ SHUSH_

"Call me Zabuza, now whataya want Kid?"** This Zabuza guy really pulls of that rugged but sexy worker man look!  
**  
"My name is Usotsuki, Mr. Yamanka's Head Maid, and I've come to Inform you that the party has been cancelled, and we will no longer be needing this food."

"But you already paid for the crap, what am I supposed ta do with it?" **HE sounds mad, what are you gonna tell him?** _I don't know! Umm-I got It!_

"Mr. Yamanaka said he would like you to send the meals to 4678 Pleasant St., are you familiar with the street?" **Nice, so you're sending it to our old house eh?** _The food there sucks and you know it, We did have to eat that garbage for 4 years you know it._ **Whatever.**

"Yea, I know the place, who could believe the cold Bastard would send food to an orphanage?"

"Yes very surprising, but that's what he said" _Inner I think he's on to us!_** That's what she said! ROFL**

"Well, I better get my ass down there if I don't wanna work overtime, see ya kid!"

"Goodbye Zabuza-san"

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_Phew, We almost got caught, How scary is that! I _**bet that big motherfucker could snap our spine like a twig if he wanted to.**_ Eep _**And think of how pissed he's going to be when he finds out he's been Duped!**

Holy shit I'm gonna DIE!

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Sorry I haven't been updating much, I've had Detention for the past two weeks and its hard to come up with any good material with violent psychopaths and ugly whores distracting me. Oh yeah Kudos to any one who knows why I picked the name Usotsuki (Hint: It has something to do with the meaning)


	8. Clown Terror

I do NOT own The song Friday, The Movie IT, Blues Clues, Naruto, or Stephan King. Don't You love when things start off like this?

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_ITs Friday, Friday, Gotta get dow-_ *CRASH*. God I hate that song. Anyway, The Old Man hasn't found out who screwed up his dinner plans, or rather he has no proof it was me. Take that! It's been two days, meaning today is Sunday,(Not Friday you Dumb Whore) and I will (hopefully) get to see Ino-pig. Even Inner is busy so I have no one to talk to. I guess I could spend my time repenting for my wrong doings to Kami-sama...nah, I'll look in my handy-dandy Notebook! Yeah I quoted _Blues clues_, you got a problem with that Bitch? No? Good. Now, lets see; _Spray paint the principles car, no to cliché. T.P a Neighbors house, already done it like 8 times. Harass The Popo, tempting, Oh Here we go, Page 12 "Clown Terrors"._ Here Have a look-see:

**CLOWN TERRORS**

Inspiration: _IT by Stephan King_

Needed Items:

1.) Clown Costume (Make-up Included)

2.) Baloons

3.) Helium

4.) Red Kool-Aid

5.) Paper Boat (Optional)

**Step One: Dress In costume & Make-Up**

Ha Getting dressed is easy , But who keeps a clown costume in his/her closet?...Apparently Me..When the hell did I even get This? Weird. So the costume is kinda like a white jumpsuit that has polka dots that look like blood spatters. There are black ruffles around the neck and on the cuffs. It's not like Stephan's It but hey, I need some originality. Now comes the hard part; Make-up. Usually Ino does it for me it is a blonds specialties right? I don't have any white make up, or vagisil, so I guess I'm using Flour. Next is The super creepy red lips, hmm, I'll use some regular ol' lipstick for that. Now I need Some dark rings around my eyes, like that red-head Sabaku. I wonder what he uses, Eyeliner? soot? I'm gonna use paint, because I have neither of those.

**Step Two: Fill balloons with helium and partially fill with Red Kool-Aid.**

Sounds Easy Enough. Just grab the helium, fill it up and pour in so juice!...

___5__ minuets later~~~~~~~_

"Hold Still you rubbery Bitch!"

_5 (MORE) minuets later~~~~~~~_

OK Next Step

**Step three: Mount street lamp or telephone pole & gently throw balloons toward Victims.**

It's Time to shimmy my scrawny ass up a pole! Lol That's what she said. Where is the best spot? OH! I know, where else but the busiest place in the City? A four way interception connecting Sound, Leaf, Sand, And Rain. Hundreds Of people pass by here everyday! You better watch out, her comes Chaos and confusion !


End file.
